Melissa’s Birth Story
The Story of a Girl and a Boy and their First Precious Baby’s Birth
Written by Tara Chappell on Monday, September 2, 2024
Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was 19 years old. She was so blessed to marry her knight in shining armor. He was 23 years old when they found out they were going to have their first baby! They were so excited to start their little family and as the months rolled by, it was getting close to the time when their little one would be born. Now in 1973, moms and dads rarely knew the sex of their baby until it was born. So, this girl and this boy planned as best they could. The girl had never been around too many babies in her life; she had always hated baby-sitting as a young teenager, so she read some books and decided that a natural birth was what she wanted. She wanted to breastfeed also and wanted to give her baby the very best of everything.
Around the end of August, the girl and the boy had the opportunity to take a group of young men to Hawaii. They had all saved their money and soon the day came for them to go on their trip. They all piled in cars and because the girl wanted to sit by the boy she was married to, she had to sit on the emergency brake in the middle of the front seat. She rode this way all the way to California! She has often stated that if she knew then what she knows now, this would have NEVER been an option! In California, the girl noticed that her legs and feet were swelling quite a bit. She soooo wanted to be a part of everything, and so she kept on going and going. Her baby was due in about three weeks, and she probably shouldn’t be flying, but she sooo wanted to go with her husband on this trip they had worked so hard for! Once they all reached Hawaii, and since this little group was here on a shoestring, they had accommodations at the BYU Hawaii college. The girl (being the only girl in the group) stayed by herself in a cubicle in the girls’ wing and all the boys stayed in the boys’ wing. Now, the girl tossed and turned and wasn’t feeling very well that night. She soon realized that she must have gotten some kind of food poisoning, as she began throwing up and threw up most of the night.
The next day, she was weak and exhausted, but she wanted to go on and not slow anyone down! There were trips to the beach, sight-seeing excursions, a PCC (Polynesian Cultural Center) visit and Luau, tours and all kinds of fun things. The girl did everything with the group, even though she noticed her legs swelling a bit more and her feet feeling very tight. At the end of the week, it was time to fly back to California. In California, they all decided to take a day and go to Disneyland before driving back home. By this time, the girl’s legs and feet were so swollen that she couldn’t walk very well. So her husband, the boy, rented her a wheelchair. She was pushed all over Disneyland in a wheelchair, but was happy that she could still go on some rides with the group and enjoy the festivities.
After getting home and settling back in, the girl noticed that she was still very swollen and now she was having cramps in her back. They were pretty severe, so the boy took off from work and rushed her to the hospital. Their little one was now due in 15 days. When she got to the hospital, she told the staff that she wasn’t in labor, but was in a lot of pain. The nurse said, “How do you know you’re not in labor? You’ve never been in labor before!” So the girl and the boy just went along with everything. They put the girl on a flat table with no pillow, in what they called the “labor room”. The boy sat with her through the night. They learned that their doctor was out of town but would be back in the morning. Sometime during all of this, an x-ray was taken of the girl’s belly. She was told that her baby was breech and turned sideways and that her pain was caused by a kidney infection. She was told that her pelvis may not be able to handle birthing a baby. After that long night in the labor room, she was finally put in a regular room. By this time, she and her husband were so exhausted and didn’t know why they couldn’t just go home. Sometime later that evening, the doctor showed up. You could say he showed up, but what actually happened is that he didn’t even come into the room. He opened the door and said, “We’re going to open you up tomorrow.” That was it. End of story.
The girl and the boy looked at each other. They didn’t know whether to be excited or horrified. There was no explanation, no reason, nothing to unravel the confusion they felt. They were excited to know that their baby would be born the next day, but were confused as to why it would be cesarean.
After yet another sleepless night, they came to get the girl for surgery. They put in a catheter - but it seemed to the girl that the nurse just kept pushing it in further and further. The girl was in agony because of the infection she had. She was sweating and shaking as they wheeled her into the operating room - her husband was not allowed. Her pain was intense and she just wanted it to go away. She was told she would be given a spinal block. They had her sit at the edge of the operating table and lean forward. With a catheter that had been placed too far into her bladder, having a kidney infection, and being full-term pregnant and not knowing what was going on or what to expect, she was crying as the doctor kept telling her to lean forward more and to stop moving! Every time he poked her spine, her leg would jump. She couldn’t hold still! Once the doctor was satisfied that his spinal was in the right place, he had the girl lay down. There was a lot going on, but the girl couldn’t see anything. Once the drapes were in place, the doctor started cutting with his scalpel. The girl felt it!
She grabbed his leg on her right side. She couldn’t speak! He simply said, “I have to keep cutting.” Then told the nurse to go get the ether in the next room. It seemed like hours, but finally the ether came and the girl was put to sleep as the feeling of layer upon layer being cut through eased. When she woke up, she could see a hand going up and down slowly and methodically. She realized that she was being sewn up. Then, the mind connected again with the body and she could feel the burning pain again. In the next instant, a face - upside down, above her head appeared. The nurse said, “You have a baby girl!” The doctor then said to give her more ether and again, the pain faded and she was asleep again. The next awareness she had was being wheeled down a hallway. She heard her husband say, “She has good color!” Then the voice of her mother saying, “Did her blood pressure go up?”.
A couple hours later, still in an anesthetic stupor and now on pain medications, and still suffering from an ill-placed catheter which they repositioned correctly while she was in surgery - she was handed her beautiful baby girl. Oh what a joy to finally have that sweet baby, that was her own flesh and blood, placed in her arms. If only she could hold her all day long, but she was so tired, so very tired. After five days in the hospital and the excruciating removal of the catheter, the girl and the boy left the hospital with their precious bundle.
Over the next few weeks, there were a lot of hurdles to overcome. Their little baby girl had severe colic. The girl, now a mother, did her best to breastfeed. She had to stay the first week at her mother-in-law’s house. There was a lot of fuss over who got to give the baby girl her first bath, but the mother won out and after enduring a baby shower, just days after major surgery, and being uprooted from her own home (a furnace was being installed), the boy, now a father and the mother, and their baby girl got to go home. The mother struggled with nightmares, she coughed and coughed from strep throat she contracted, her house was so messy and she didn’t have the energy to clean it. Her husband was back at work and she had a little one to care for, besides trying to heal from the trauma, both physically and emotionally. This was not the idyllic story she had wished for, but her little one was safe and sound. That was the most important thing to her and what kept her going those days afterwards.
Months and even years later, she learned that she had eclampsia and that rest, fluids and a proper diet could have saved her from the ordeal of a cesarean. The kidney infection could likely have been caused by swimming in the ocean. The catheter had, in fact, been pushed too far into the bladder and had actually coiled up inside. She had color in her face after the surgery because her blood pressure had gone so high during surgery and because of the intense pain. She also learned that her baby could have been turned or could have turned on her own during labor. Also, the doctor cut her from above her belly button all the way down to the pubic bone - a method that was very outdated and prevented this mother from having the large family she had always wanted. She was able to have three more children, then was strongly advised to have a tubal ligation. There was excessive scar tissue from the large incision and because the uterus was cut in the same manner, the risk of rupture during labor was too great. All her babies required being born via cesarean section.
When her own little baby girl became pregnant with her first child, her daughter was informed, she had a plan, she knew and understood the journey of pregnancy and labor. She was a Super Star as she pushed her own little baby boy into the world, amongst a room full of astonished doctors and nurses who had rarely seen a natural birth. As her mother, I am so proud of the work she has done to provide a safe and gentle environment for women to birth their babies in a wonderful, supportive, informative and calm way - the way that our bodies were meant to give birth. If all of that pain and sorrow and trauma was necessary to give my daughter her wings to soar, then I can surely say it was worth it. But in reality, just having her in my life has made it worth it and I would go through it all again just to be able to be her mom! I love you, my precious daughter! Thank you for healing my heart and my soul and for doing what you do! What I went through and what so many have gone through in this world, is necessary. Necessary because it creates awareness, and with awareness comes education, and with education comes change. You are definitely the change that this world has needed and I am so in awe of you and of your courage, the depth of knowledge that you have, your incredible intuition and the skills you have worked so hard to develop. I think of all the women you have influenced that didn’t have to go through what I went through and I am so grateful that you have lessened and even removed so much useless suffering and pain! I respect you, sweetie! I love and honor you for doing great things in your life! Life has not been easy for you either! You have been through the fire and have allowed it to refine you, rather than to destroy you! Your strength and determination and tenacity are unrivaled. God bless you as you continue this work, my darling baby girl! All my love, your Mom. xoxoxo